I always thought that was sort of cool... considering my name is Raven, we both 'sort of' had animal names. He got it in highschool from a foreign friend who couldn't pronounce his last name, "Molisee" and kept calling him "Mouse".

I don't even know how to talk about this--I don't want to discuss it much, I don't know. Monday night I got a call from my brother at the studio.. At least I think it was Monday, the fifth, that my dad had.. collapsed at work, they found him with a pulse, pointing at his heart.. but on the way to the hospital, he died...

...He was 59.. I guess cuz everyone else in our family has lasted well into the 70's (at least) I thought I'd always have more time with him. Thought if I ever did settle down with a family, have a kid, or even become "successful" that he'd see it. At least he got to see me get into the animation biz.. I remember back when I quit college to come up here, even if it made him sad or upset that I was leaving him, he only ever smiled at me about it. When I commuted on the weekends during college to go home and visit, we always had a three hour drive to ourselves where we could just talk and bullshit with eachother--or listen to old time radio programs together. On the last trip back from Chicago--the one right before moving away to Canada, I remember him opening the car door with a smile. As I situated myself in the passenger's side, he happily asked me "How does it feel to get your dream?" He would have done anything for me.. Anything to see me even. Last Christmas when I came home to visit he took a whole week off from work just so he could be around me. He stayed up whole nights with me so we could play computer games together... By morning we'd both be exhausted, falling asleep by our computers, guzzling coffee in a desperate attempt to stay up just a little longer..

He was an amazing person... We were so.. close. I was a 'Daddy's girl'.. definately. I wish I'd have made the time to call him more toward the end--seems that's all I can think about lately. I just always thought there would be more time.

Learn from experience I guess. My biggest worry now is that I'll forget things--forget how this feels. Not because I want to but because its just what I do when I don't want to think about something--I just keep trying not to.. until I eventually don't.

But really, I dont' know how I could ever forget anything about my dad. I thought about him every day, at least once. Often mentioned him in conversation. I always tried to be like him. Few things seemed to stress him out or worry him. Which made all the more impact when something DID bother him. He always talked to everyone with a cockiness that made you think he knew something you didn't. And that maybe you weren't as smart as he was because of it. Ha ha ha.

Yeah.. Dad. Here's a picture of me and my bro with my dad between us.. Both of these are a bit dark, but they're the only ones with the three of us that I can find right now on this computer. Maybe I'll update some time with one of my dad's older "badass" photos... which always amuse me.

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-RM